Alfonso Galindo in the Frame July 17, 2022
“Oaxaca is crowned the best city in the world to travel,” proclaims the lead headline of The Oaxaca Post, the city’s most prominent and sorriest excuse for an English-language news source. Only one or two stories a week meet the demanding standards of this paragon to journalistic excellence, so the front page features reports written months ago, just in case one needs to be reminded of a new mescal distillery opening in April, a homicide in May, or a big tree falling over in June. Positioned prominently in each of these stories is a photograph of the scene with a large head protruding in the corner, wearing tinted glasses and a knowing smirk. More on him in a moment.
As for the latest headline, those of us who are concerned about increased gentrification and the rising cost of living cannot be happy about the news that we are number one. San Miguel de Allende, which was the survey winner last year, must be feeling more relief than disappointment, whereas the over-representation of Mexican cities in this so-called worldwide contest suggests a certain bias. Indeed, Mexico City and Merida also make the top ten. Meanwhile, the fact that the arbiter for this lofty designation is some inane arithmetic entity called “Travel + Leisure” (= Advertising Revenue?) probably means that this is not really any news at all, just fluff and glossy promotion. However, The Oaxaca Post says it is true, so here we are.
The correspondent for this breaking story is a self-described “journalist” by the name of Alfonso Galindo. He is apparently the best in the business because all of the stories in The Oaxaca Post that I have seen so far are written by him. His writing style is remarkable for its laziness, with sloppy paragraphs containing boilerplate quotations and pointless statistics, replete with typos and grammatical errors, all of which serve to indicate that the editorial staff does not understand English. If so, Alfonso Galindo is a rogue investigator running unchecked. Let us see what the gumshoe has discovered most recently:
“For a fan of the books like me, the Public Newspaper Library is ideal. Here you will find volumes of newspapers bound by year and printing. You can see them and even ask for a volume to read it. (I) leafed through a newspaper from 1937 and saw everything from an announcement of a Yo-yo contest with Mickey Mouse to the news of the installation of electric light in one of the towns of Oaxaca. It is very interesting if you like books, old objects or gossiping about the past.” (Alfonso is a fan of gossip.)
“Declared a cultural heritage of humanity, the 17th-century Temple of Santo Domingo de Guzmán is decorated inside with gold sheets and endless curved details that, with the play of light, give the impression of shining in the eyes of the beholder.” (Alfonso is hallucinating.)
“The Casa Juárez Museum is another of the things to do in downtown Oaxaca. Here you will find six rooms decorated with furniture and ornaments similar to those of the time in which reference is made to the life of Benito Juárez. We asked Mr. Luis about an aspect of Benito Juárez’s life and very kindly he did not tell his whole story; so if you want and agree with him, you can ask him a question.” (Alfonso prefers short answers.)
It is only a matter of time before the Pulitzer selection committee turns its attention to the fine investigative journalism being practiced at The Oaxaca Post, our English-speaking newspaper of record for inquiring minds (“who want and agree with him”). And we will immediately recognize the recipient of this highest press honor, because there will be a marquee photograph on the front page. You will have to examine closely to discern the illustrious image of the Pulitzer Prize, however, because, standing in the way, taking up half the frame, will be the ridiculous jutting mug of Alfonso Galindo, the best damned writer from the best city in the whole world.