That Fucking Wall January 27
Vicente Fox, the former Mexican President, uttered those three words—That Fucking Wall—last summer and actually had to issue an apology in the Mexican press. This is because Mexicans are polite people, whereas Donald Trump most pungently is not. Courtesy implies respect in this society, and the American CEO displays neither. For the President of the United States to demand that Mexico, its neighbor and third largest trading partner, devote 5 percent of its national GDP to a useless construction enterprise in a rugged desert wilderness is—well, it’s not very nice.
“What the fuck?“ a New Yorker might say. Folks down here would frown on such coarse language.
The wall is currently estimated to cost 15 billion dollars. How this arbitrary USD amount will be allocated for construction means virtually nothing because, in truth, no human engineering exists to bridge the gaps of Big Bend and the western badlands.
President Enrique Peña-Nieto, only today made aware of a nasty TWEET del norte, abruptly cancelled a state visit to Washington slated for next week. In point of fact, Trump essentially invited him to decline; Enrique merely accepted the invitation. Dignity restored.
Earlier today, Trump’s proposal to levy a 20 percent tax on all Mexican imports lasted about an hour before his press secretary, Sean Sphincter (I’m not sure I’m make this name up), dismissed it as but one of many options for extorting 15 billion dollars from that nation of bandits, rapists, and murderers. Still, the fresh prince maintains, “I can do that. I can do that if I want.“ I me mine—I’m the boss of me—like a five-year-old.
For students of the American Presidency, number 45’s tactics follow a pattern. He enters any negotiation or debate by flinging wild accusations, issuing dark threats, sowing chaos, and generally lighting the dais on fire. Once his foes are confused and thrown off balance by the initial salvo, he steps back, as the counterattack draws his adversaries further away from their comfort zones. Whatever the outcome, he will claim victory through unremitting bombast and mendacity. The Trump Doctrine.
Wait, this just in: Donald Trump blesses General “Mad Dog“ Mattis, the new Secretary of Defense, at his Pentagon confirmation. He does not invoke God’s blessing, as customary. The President himself issues the celestial tidings. He blesses you all, for he loves every one of his children, and he showers bounteous blessings on his beloved United States of America, as well as a few blessings on Israel and Russia. Mexico not so much. Then Donald J. Trump pops a sacramental Tic Tac and proceeds to the unholy anointments, which involve the short hairs of the public imagination.